Life...

It has been quite the interesting journey throughout my senior year here at Vanguard University. Growth in establishing my identity in Christ and in my own individual self has been the overarching theme that has brought me to a place of pure joy. At times this year I have felt that I had lost my identity. I felt as though I no longer knew who I was. Trapped in a world of confusion and chaos I felt as though I was drowning and could not reach the surface for a breath of air. This season brought me to the immediate reality of a broken world. I no longer understood anything and everything. Everything became incredibly ambiguous and equivocal. Nothing made sense. This has definitely not been the greatest season of life. Here I am on the brink of graduation from Undergrad and I was petrified of what the world look like. Everything I knew and dreamed of seemed beyond realistic terms, so I began to give up the dreams i had gathered in my time here at Vanguard. I was broken, lost and trapped in a world I knew nothing of.

Although this season has been hard and unbearable emotionally at times, I now stand overjoyed in triumphant victory. I noticed that I had begun to look so far into the future that I was unable to live life day to day. It was this realization that guided my heart to prayer. Every morning I began with a time of prayer that simply confessed to weakness and brokenness, desperate for the strength to get through the day. Slowly I began to see my heart changed. My heart and mind began to fixate upon the here and now excited for the next moment. I have been privileged and blessed by God throughout my life, what makes me think that now God would hand me over to complete destruction. God is faithful. This was something that penetrated every thought that I had had about depression.

Genuine conversations with great friends has tangible encouragement from God, while being inspired by the world around. Another form of inspiration has been through the films. Recent films including Soul Surfer, I Am Number Four, and another random film that I forgot the name of have all expressed some form of inspiration. With an enamored heart I set forth into the world, exhilarated for the future and with the knowledge of success. Although I may fall at times, I will get back up and continue running the race of life. God is good and faithful!

An Illustration of Restoration

An Illustration of Restoration

April proves to be the cruelest month

The dreary skies compliment the sentiments eroding a tattered heart

Leaving diluted metaphors interpreted through the poet’s voice

A mist awakens covering the moonlit sky, depicting a scene of weariness

Time slows… to the progression of the unsettled clouds

Guided by the cadenced patterns of the wind

A young lad sits, swaying to and fro on the porch swing

A downcast heart saddens the tempo of the composition being played,

It’s begun to resonate, unmistakably harmonized

As if composed by the master artist himself, so tenderly woven into time

Crafted with a thread of serenity that has proven to sooth the melody

The talent of the master artist overwhelms the scene, yet his voice remains unheard…unspoken

As the young lad persists…swinging, back and forth on the porch swing

The storyteller once said, that there were no unhappy endings

Every narrative ever told encloses a symbol of goodness, something that’s meant to be heard

The narrator dictates the story into existence, claiming his mastery over the scene

Along with it, he carries our hearts, our minds … and our souls

We’re lost in a reverie, far beyond our thoughts intentions

Unknowingly attached to an ideal principle of reality,

Obscured by the risen ashes of the volcano

Blurring the normality of a bent world

Natural tendencies collide with the idyllic habits of the storyteller

The avalanche is closing in, with every intention to deconstruct the minds of a world troubled

Inhabited by the sleep-walkers…caught in their dismal like trance

A legend of old tells of a divine storyteller, one bound by nothing but himself

The words emanated from His mouth create a lasting impression

Upon a race that is raped by egotism, left with broken pieces of glass that once formed an identity

Now tended by the glass-maker,

Positioning each piece gently into the oven, to be refined by the fire

Left in its transparency before the maker

Time has consumed all that once was, like a cataract engulfs the water below

The dullest moments in life leave us with something to reminisce

As if a picture had been painted in the memory, scene after scene

The images remain untouched, guarded by time itself

As the memoirs linger in the mind, newness deadens what has been left behind

Like the wildflowers in their blossom out of the blackness of the field

An illustration of restoration

The Weight of Glory

The Weight of Glory is a compiled work of C.S. Lewis in attempt to approach copious theological controversies. The first of which, tackles the topic of the title The Weight of Glory. In this chapter Lewis manages to deconstruct the meaning of Glory in the context of a biblically informed worldview and heaven. Interestingly, what Lewis discovers is that we have been led astray in our attempt to form, construct, and construe an appropriated understanding of what a heavenly definition of glory resembles.

Lewis always manages to baffle my thoughts, yet interest and captivate my attention in his numerous analogies that progressively unfold the definition of which he hopes to clarify. Is glory directly correlated with fame, or may it be better assembled with a representation of luminosity? This is roughly what Lewis pursues to determine through critical and ardent analysis of the human understanding of glory. We are conditioned throughout our childhood to hold on to an objective goal juxtaposition with our action. Our education system for example. We are persistently cultivated in childhood education to achieve certain marks in accordance to a previously written grading scale, which measures our intelligence and our ability to learn. Inevitably, as we are forced to be held accountable against the grading system, the grading system then becomes the ultimate goal. Is this a healthy approach to education? No. The purpose of education is to learn, inspire, provoke imagination, experience, promote critical thinking, and ultimately, to encourage the aspirations of our young generations. The objectified, tangible, and immediate evidence of learn knowledge against a set mark hinders the young generations capability to do the latter. They are limited to a specific mark, which if not attained, they become despised, ruled as unintelligent, and therefore, left behind. My apologies, I did not mean for this to become a written critique on the current education system.

In continuation of this topical discussion Lewis ascribes the notion of mercenary behavior to our conditioned thinking. We're taught to seek the reward of meeting the highest marks, as opposed to being inspired to think, be critical, and imagine. Glory defined in this sense is the immediate reward, acceptance, acknowledgement and fame that is subsequent to reaching the mark. This is explicitly what glory has become in the Christian context. Humanity desirably seeks the acceptance, acknowledgment and fame among their peers. What good is it to attain such goals, aspirations, and good without people rewarding you with the gift of praise and glory. We won't explicitly say it, but we indelibly seek to be recognized. We have become mercenary for the praise and glory of our peers, when we are to be seeking the satisfaction of our God. What good is it to do good in the name of the Lord, yet be willing to take credit when people desire to praise your for it. It seems then that the "good" has been lost, the only good that remains is the previous objective action that had taken place.

Our fundamental purpose as followers of Christ should be, specifically, the longing to hear "Well done, thy good and faithful servant" at the end of the age. This is solely the greatest glory that can be attained, and this is the glory that Lewis embarks to define. The luminosity of our achievements, good works, goals, and rewards should be reflected upon the name of Jesus Christ. The definition of glory lies in the hands of the Father, not in the praise of man. It is our sinful, self-seeking, and egotistic behavior that blinds us to this reality, as we desperately hope to attain status, appreciation, and acknowledgement in a self-pleasing world.

To interject a side note, Lewis persistently advocates subjective thought throughout his exposition, and this can further be seen in his work entitled The Abolition of Man. The desire and attempt of the poet to depict meaning through the form of poetry, subjectivity, nostalgia, metaphor, allusions, abstractions and allegory unravels meaning that otherwise could not have been tapped into. It allows for the reader and listener to hear meaning within the beats of reality. Poetry breaks apart the definition of reality challenging true meaning. Our generation has become satisfied with Greek philosophy, logic, realism, and and rationalism. We are forced into this particular categorical thought, because otherwise, the world cannot relate as they continue to be satisfied by pure logic. Don't get me wrong, logical and rational systematic approaches to Theology and Philosophy are of great importance, however, we have jettisoned the reflectiveness of poetry and imagination as aids for interpretation and thinking. Our minds have become enthralled with the philosophy of the Greeks, as our imaginations have become numbed. The gift of imagination taps into new realities, unforeseen beauties, and intricacies, that otherwise logic leaves us empty-handed.

Life of Pi

Yesterday night, I finished reading the marvelous tale of The Life of Pi by Yann Martel. This creative depiction and interpretation of humanities desperate attempt to live a life of meaning and purpose, reveals and provokes interesting thoughts and questions. The character of Pi is a young boy fascinated with the beauty of religion and its function within society. Pi finds it easy to relate to three of the worlds major world Religions: Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity. The stories and spiritual guidance gathered and narrated by all of these faiths express to Pi something to be admired and appreciated. Before Pi begins his long journey throughout the vast ocean of the Pacific, there is a comical dialogue that takes place between Pi, his parents, and the three spiritual leaders that have guided Pi in his observance of the faiths. Each of the three spiritual leaders, along with Pi's father tried to explain to Pi the problematic inconsistencies and contradictions that these three religions held against one another. Pi, obviously very intelligent in thought, presented Ghandi's famous exploitation of religious tradition, expressing the need to appreciate all religious traditions and the goodness that it allows for humanity.

A major theme developed throughout the novel was the theme of ritual. Pi found that when he was stranded on the lifeboat in the middle of the Pacific, with only a bengal tiger to keep him company, the practice of daily rituals was what would keep him alive. It was through the daily ritualistic activities that Pi was able to attach his mind to other realities. The conscious notion that he was stranded in the middle of the ocean, in a sense, became numbed through the practice of rituals. It seems Martel is relaying the idea that we allow our daily rituals occupy our thoughts, therefore, transcending us into an alternate state of reality where we feel most comfortable. Perhaps, this allows us to no longer face true reality? This is an important theme that Martel has sewn into the threading of this philosophical work. If perhaps this is true, how do we come to cope with this reality? Is it okay? Did God intend the human mind to interact with the cosmos in such a way? Or, are we merely animals, that know nothing other than daily routines, that force our minds to encounter reality in simplistic framed lifestyle?

The conclusion to Martle's captivating novel brings you to the front of your seat in with the craving to know the value of the story. It is through the dialogue of Pi and two men that the philosophical associations with the text are met, allowing the reader to interact with the text in a much more provoking way. As Pi articulates his story to the two gentlemen, the men could not come to grips with the mythological tendency of the story that Pi presents. Although the story that Pi relays to his listeners is truth, the men do not want to accept the credibility, so they push for another story, in which Pi agreeably gives them. In his second story Pi depicts his story through the lens of humans, as opposed to the 4 animals originally inhabiting the small space of the lifeboat. Each human in the ship now represented an animal that had occupied the ship, and through this allegorical approach he again articulates his story to the reader. Although the story this time was perhaps a stretch from the truth, to Pi, it relayed another form of truth. his previous factual story, intended to tell the listener the exact accounts of what had happened on his journey, while his second story, dictated an emotional connection with the events that had taken place, that otherwise the factual story could not interpret. Therefore, both stories held s significant amount of value, which inherently was the truth of what had happened. It was up to the listeners to determine which story they could relate to the most, and further publish.

The theme of storytelling signifies another major theme. Humanities desperate desire to know truth inevitably interrupts their ability to distinguish truth. What was it these two men were searching for in their discussion with Pi? They wanted something believable. Something that they could attach their already discovered premises to, without allowing for critical analysis. What shattered the already constructed reality they had, they wanted no part of, because this would force them to rethink and rediscover everything they know. This is a scary thought and position to be in, but perhaps this also could be a healthy place to be. If we allow our minds to be complacent with the knowledge that we already have acquired, why should we study any further? Dr Camery-Hoggatt depicted reality well when he described paradigm shifts within the human mind. Once we have come to the conclusion that we are solid in our understanding of reality, something might shatter this notion of thought scattering your thoughts into an endless spiral in your transfixed mind. It is through the process of regathering these pieces of thought, and brought back together that the mind is able to interact again on a more stable level. This has been very helpful in my interpretations and study habits throughout my academic career. With Pi's original story being the truth, while firstly being revoked by the listeners, I believe Martel is relaying to his readers the need to be open to new realities. Not that we need to immediately accept them, but that we allow our minds to challenge them, interacting on an intellectual level with the new force. What is truth? What is false? Is it possible for truth to be interwoven with falsities? And even further, is this truth noteworthy when interpreting the cosmos? It is up to your open-intellect, and the ability to allow outside realities to critique and strengthen your understanding of the world. As a Christian believer, I find it greatly important that we be open to the critique of our faith. It is our desire to know God and further know the intricacies of His creation, which inherently forces us to challenge what we know. Yes, we are to be satisfied in the knowledge of Christ, but God did not create us to be a chosen followers that have become puppets. We are intricately designed beings that are allowed to discover and challenge the philosophies of this world. Is there such a text, or book, that should be established off limits to our reading? No, I understand each text to inform us of something that needs to be adhered to. If it challenges our faith, it should produces all the more desire to know and interpret the text in an educated manner. To remain distant and fearful of challenges is not what scripture preaches. If we believe what we preach, we should be educated believers is desperate desire to defend the faith, without the fear of failure. Further if your faith were to be proven infallibly false, would you not want to discover a new reality? These are all important questions that that Martel provokes within the readers mind int he conclusion of his Life of Pi.

Dubrovnik, Croatia

I am currently in Dubrovnik, Croatia and it has proven to be a beautiful place as they refer to it as the hidden gem of the Med. Sea.
Well, our previous port was Italia where we spent a total of 7 days traveling up and down the entire country. I had the chance to see the following cities: Rome, Venice, FLorence, Verona, Pompeii, and Naples. Here I took the trains up and down constantly throughout the days and night. Rome was incredible. Mzžy first shocking experience was causually walking down a road trying to figure out which street I was on and than I turn my head and look to the right and bam, there is the Colleseum right in my face. This took a bit to process. Along with the Colleseum I got to visit all of the major tourists locations thorughout Rome including Michaelangelo,s sistine Chapel, and unbelieveable sight, it is definately a breath taking experience. Well, In Rome I had the privilege of sitting in on Mass with the Pope, :) and now I can hoinestly say that I have been blessed by the Pope as he concluded his message by blessing the people sitting in. All of the cities in Italia have there own individual taste and beauty about them, but I would have to say that VErona was definately my favorite city. We hung out in Verona for the day and waiting until 3 in the morning there for a night train. It was interesting to encounter the cities night life. Familes were out til around 1:30 in the mrning just hanging out in the town square and shopping area. The Opera in there old outdoor thestre got out at midnight creating even more chaotic intriquing expereinces with the local families and there interactions in the evening. The townspeople also window shopped until 1am while eating they,re Gelato. It was cool to experience the chill and laid back culture of Verona. This was follwed by the weirdest and most obscure bus trip I have ever encourntered and dont expect to again. We get on our train at 3 welcomed by numerous kids hanging out the windows of the train. It created the effect of convicts headed to prison, a little abnormal start to our long night. We than entered the train to find out that we didn,t actually have set seats, so we had to sit on a little narrow hall, and sleep with the many others that slept along the side of the narrow hall. It proved to be quite the humble and patient needed experience. It definately helped going into it not expecting much, so throughout the train ride as I woke up from the loud shouting of the teenage boys I could only laugh of the crazy experience that I get to share with my friends and family. Definately wouldn,t change that one for anything. The city of Venice also proved to show its beauty as well as Michaelangelo,s David and Ghiberti,s Gates of Paradise in Florence. My last few days in Itlaia I spent hiking MT. Vesuvios and exploring the city of Pompeii. The city of Pompeii was incredible, but I little heartbreaking to see the plastered statues of people frozen in that catastrophic and traumatic moment in time.

Next stop, Croatia!
Here in Croatia I have had some amazing cultural experiences. I had the privilege of visiting a poor city to enjoy a night of folk dancing and dinner with the townspeople. Upon entering they hand you a little shot of something that they tell you is a cultural drink to begin an evening or to end an evening with, and this shot happened to be moonshine, nasty stuff. It sits in your chest with a burning sensation, whish they provided figs and orange peals to wash it down with. The food for the evening was exquisite and the dancing was extremely entertaining as we interacted with the townspeople. Along with the great food provided by the family they also provided the house wine made in their own Vineyard, which was definitely the best wine I have ever drank. The following days we explored the Old city walls, which were previously under attack just ten years ago. The Serbs were throwing bombs over the hill onto the city. We also got the chance to take a kayak ride around a nearby island and also snorkeled in the beautiful clear waters. Our last night here was the begining of their summer festival, so we had the privilege of seeing the town awake at night to enjoy the night in celebration with fireworks, wines, music, tradition, and dancing. Another successful port with only four more countries to go! It is flying by! Well, many more stories to come, Ill try my best to keep this updated.

Barcelona, Spain

Hola! From Barcelona!
It has been an amazing trip thus far and I'm just excited for every day to come. I had a little trouble at the beginning of the trip finding friends due to the fact that 98% of the population on the ship traveling just to get wasted and fraterinize with each other. It was a first rough few days, but than we started a bible study on the ship and I had the chance to meet some people with the same values. This was relieving except for the fact there still were no guys on the ship that I could relate to. I've been hanging out with three girls named Mollie, Kiley, and Emily. They all are great and love the Lord, but it is still kind of rough not having a guy by your side to make fun of the girls. Traveling in Barcelona has been amazing! I have got to see many of Gaudi's architectural works throughout the city including La Sagrada Familia, which was unbelieveable. He has definately become one of my favorite architects after learning about his work. Gaudi didn't believe in straight lines because God created no straight lines in his creation. Through this outlook on the world Gaudi created his own form of architecture leaving his genius behind for all to ooouu and Awe over. I also got to see the Picasso museum which was definately a trip. We have travled throughout Barcelona and have enjoyed the cafes and bars. I'd have to say the best part of Barcelona so far though has been seeing my friend kiley get water dumped on her from above the balcony after I had just walked by right in front of her. Definately set up a quite enjoyable and memorable moment as she just stood there and embraced it. We also got to watch the Spain vs. Chile game in a Restarante, which turned out to be pretty cool as Spain won the game. Tonight we are going to a Flamenco show, watching the Fountain lights, and going Salsa Dancing. It should be a pretty fun evening, but I must admit that I am pretty exhausted from all the walking around. Tomorrow is our last day here in Spain and not sure exactly what we have planned but Im excited for another day here. O, and Chocolate con Churros! Awesome! Gracias Joshua for making sure that I knew to get it. Well, more to come as I travel to Italia in the next two days. One day at a time.

Proverbs 31:8-9

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themsevles, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:8-9

Tonight I was doing a reading in proverbs and ran across this verse. It's one of those verses that jumps out at you, with some sort of extremity to it. It's a verse that has spoken to the hearts of many over the generations, and has guided many hearts to act out in myriad ways to protect and serve the lives of those that are left voiceless. Often times we get so consumed with the desire to spoon feed the gospel to people that we often times disregard the fact that many people around the world are suffering from diseases, corrupt goverment, and many have been stripped of their humanity due to heinous acts of human-trafficing and many other cases. Don't get me wrong here I truly believe in the message of Christ impacting the lives of the masses, but as Christ followers I have come to understand that we are called to much higher standards than just the simple act of sharing the gospel in its physicality. In actuality the gospel is meant to be lived out. The gospel message is not something that should be repeated by voice of mouth, like a robot repeating what it was programmed to say, but act out what the words illuminate from the pages. If this were so, we would begin to lose sight of the simple act of sharing the gospel in a constant verbal desperation, but we would begin to see the true beauty of its nature in it being acted out as it was intended. The definition of a Christian is simply "little Christ" or further "Christ-like in nature". This is who we are called to be, Christ! We are called to be Christ for the little one suffering from a disease, beacause he or she wasn't able to get drinking water. We are called to be Christ to the widow that is left in her loneliness. We are called to be Christ to the homeless family hiding behind an alley, because the are to ashamed to show their loss. We the church are "Christ"! When are we going to stop speaking of the beauty of the gospel, and begin acting out the true nature of it. When this becomes a reality lives will be changed, people will not just here of this wonderful God, but they will see the magnificent work of his hands. This is who we were called to be, to Speak out and serve those who are in need.