Life...

It has been quite the interesting journey throughout my senior year here at Vanguard University. Growth in establishing my identity in Christ and in my own individual self has been the overarching theme that has brought me to a place of pure joy. At times this year I have felt that I had lost my identity. I felt as though I no longer knew who I was. Trapped in a world of confusion and chaos I felt as though I was drowning and could not reach the surface for a breath of air. This season brought me to the immediate reality of a broken world. I no longer understood anything and everything. Everything became incredibly ambiguous and equivocal. Nothing made sense. This has definitely not been the greatest season of life. Here I am on the brink of graduation from Undergrad and I was petrified of what the world look like. Everything I knew and dreamed of seemed beyond realistic terms, so I began to give up the dreams i had gathered in my time here at Vanguard. I was broken, lost and trapped in a world I knew nothing of.

Although this season has been hard and unbearable emotionally at times, I now stand overjoyed in triumphant victory. I noticed that I had begun to look so far into the future that I was unable to live life day to day. It was this realization that guided my heart to prayer. Every morning I began with a time of prayer that simply confessed to weakness and brokenness, desperate for the strength to get through the day. Slowly I began to see my heart changed. My heart and mind began to fixate upon the here and now excited for the next moment. I have been privileged and blessed by God throughout my life, what makes me think that now God would hand me over to complete destruction. God is faithful. This was something that penetrated every thought that I had had about depression.

Genuine conversations with great friends has tangible encouragement from God, while being inspired by the world around. Another form of inspiration has been through the films. Recent films including Soul Surfer, I Am Number Four, and another random film that I forgot the name of have all expressed some form of inspiration. With an enamored heart I set forth into the world, exhilarated for the future and with the knowledge of success. Although I may fall at times, I will get back up and continue running the race of life. God is good and faithful!