As many of you have become aware, I have returned home from my stay in Surabaya, Indonesia. In my time there God has moved my heart insurmountably and opened my eyes to the filth that inhibits my ability to allow Christ to live through me.
As most of you know, my teaching contract was supposed to be for a 2 year period. However, through unfortunate circumstances God has brought me home. In a nutshell, the school that had hired me had employed me under illegal circumstances without making me aware. After a long process of uncovering the information that was being withheld from me, I brought my concerns to the school board and informed them of my resignation. Fortunately, God provided a level of understanding and mutual consent to my departing. Leaving Indonesia left me filled with mixed emotions that still preoccupy and haunt my mind today, and I presume will continue as God guides me through a process of healing and understanding.
In the four month span that I had the privilege and honor of sharing Indonesian life and culture God unraveled many inhibitions that prevented me from giving everything I am to living a Christ-filled life.
While my graduation from Vanguard University should have marked the commencing of an optimistic and promising future, my mind grew troubled with the academic loans that now lingered over my head causing a perpetual state of torment. As I allowed financial concerns to occupy and cloud my mind, it seemed that every decision I made became fixated upon this sole concern. Although it is essential to be financially aware and responsible, when we allow finances to dictate our lives we have given in to serving the god Mammon (god of money). This was a disheartening awakening to my heart. Needless to say, God has progressively freed me from this inundating burden that bedraggled my heart from fully being alive.
God has also revealed to me a joy and delight unlike no other. Before I had committed to Indonesia I was told that I would be teaching teenagers. However, a week before my departure I received the information that I would be teaching 2nd and 3rd graders. To be completely honest, yes, this change of age-group terrified me. I had grown comfortable with my skill-set to be able to teach the teenage level with ease of heart, but young children terrified me. I was unsure if I was capable of the patience and liveliness it took to entertain and manage a bunch of rambunctious little munchkins. To my reluctant surprise, I immediately fell in love with the children that were bestowed upon me. The simple excitement and sheer joy of each and every child enamored an undeniable and encouraging vigor that guided me through each day. The immensely overwhelming joy that enamors ones heart from the simple smile and acknowledgment with love given by a child is insurmountable and will be forever cherished.
Along with the few revelations that I have shared, I rest assured that God has eternally transformed my heart in desperation for His Kingdom. As the Creator of the Universe persistently reveals to me the calling that He has for me, I increasingly become overwhelmed by His impeccable sovereignty, undeniable grace and irrefutable love that He has for me.
